This is going to be great year!

On August 2nd, 1989, Carol and I went on our first date to Evita.  I don't recall the musical much at all but I remember the evening well.  We married 10 months later.  It was 5 years ago when I last my had a conversation with Carol.  I recapped our conversation and said, “This is going to be a great year.” And she left.  That sounds sad, but the truth is that it was a great year.  It was a great 24 years.  Carol and I had a life with all of its fun and excitement, but also frustrations and disappointments.  Don't tell the kids, but we even had an argument once, about peaches.  The reason I mention this is that when I look back at all the pictures from 1989 to 2013, I was reminded of dumb things I said and did, decisions I made both good and bad.  But I smiled as I walked through the years.

There are a bunch of pictures of vacations, fancy dresses, cute kids, new houses, and super hot moms (well one anyway).  But this is definitely my favorite.  This is a picture of us on a family mission trip in 2012.  What I see in this picture is everything I just mentioned, but I mostly see someone who enriched others by pouring into their lives and making their years great also.  I will be forever thankful for the great years we had with her.

Two Years but Still Spreading Smiles

By: April Sylvester
It has been two whole years. In that time, Dad has successfully moved houses, I have been figuring out being an adult for a year, Anna is a pro at college by now, and Audrey and Adam are knee deep in high school life. But even through all the changes two years brings with it, mom is still a part of us (literally and figuratively). And I would like to share a short story about mom that shows that loving spirit that I so very much want to emulate. So here we go:

We were staring at the array of pictures splayed across the blue Compassion International table cloth in front of us as an eagerly jittery volunteer floated behind like a Christian social-justice Cheshire cat. It was only a couple of months until I was to embark on my first trip to Africa with the youth team from Perimeter Church’s Global Outreach, and my mom and I had walked up to the nonprofit's table in our church’s lobby with the intention of committing to $30 per month to support a needy child in Tanzania. My mom picked up one photo: it was a girl about 8 years old, in a puffy pink dress, with a beaming smile that lit up her round face. Then she picked up another photo: a boy of about the same age with dirty slacks, arms pinned to his side, and a huge scowl on his face.  Mom looked from one card to another and then asked the Cheshire cat if we could take both home to pray over the decision. The volunteer just smiled.

Back home at our kitchen table, mom laid down both pictures and asked me which child I thought we should support. I wanted the girl. She was cute and smiling. I would want that kind of girl as my penpal. But mom picked up the boy, looked at his face and said, “He doesn’t look very happy." "Exactly," I thought. "I think he needs it more. Let’s give him something to smile about.” Even though that seemed like the most illogical decision to my shallow preteen brain, I am now floored by my mom’s compassion. She did not choose the shiny, fun, option, but the option that Christ would have chosen--one of extending care and relationship to the most unlikely of the world. 

A few months later I did get to visit Charles and, though it took a day, lots of coaxing, and a spontaneous soccer match, he did show us a glimpse of his bright and beautiful smile. That was all thanks to mom!

Happy Birthday Carol!

I really looked forward to one tradition that Carol created for birthdays in our house.  On someone's birthday, Carol would go through our family photos and pull one out of the birthday boy or girl and put it in a frame on the kitchen table.  When each of us came down for the morning devotion, a big 8.5x11 shot of the birthday kid was on display for all of us to see.  The picture was some really cute shot that would spark laughter and stories.  Afterward we would thank God that He brought the birthday boy/girl into our family.  Carol even did this for me.  But we never did it for Carol.  First, I was never up as early as Carol.  But, second, we didn't have any photos of Carol when she was young.  The last time I was at her parent's house, I dug out the some of their old slides and had them converted.  So, here's looking at you kid!

Carol was born in New York City.  She hated cold weather for the 25 years I knew her.   This was the only shot I saw of her in the snow, obviously not too excited about it.  I am sure she was delighted with their move to Birmingham!  

Thank you God for bringing this girl into this world for all of us to enjoy!

Thank you!

Many have approached me about the anniversary of Carol's passing.  I really have not thought about the year since Carol has been gone.  Everyday I wake up, it was yesterday.  I think about how Carol was always up before the sun.  The lamp was on by the chair with her devotion on the side table.  The coffee was already made and an empty cup was on the counter by the sink.  It was very rare to see Carol when I got up, but it would have been in that green chair in the corner...quite possibly yesterday.

Although it has been a year as well. The line of people sharing how their lives were impacted in some way by knowing Carol was a year long.  It has been a year of carpools, track meets, play practices, and volleyball games that Carol would have made into a day.  I miss Carol a year--every day.  

But most of all, it has been a year of seeing the body of Christ come alive and shower our family with grace (unmerited favor for those of you who don't attend Perimeter).  I cannot do it personally, but I want to thank everyone for a year, helping our family, loving us and most of all sharing in the joy for having known this remarkable woman.

The Sylvesters

Missing you!

I just wanted you to know how much I miss seeing Carol every Saturday morning. My body pump class followed hers. She would always welcome me with her warm smile. She touched so many lives and I'm so blessed that I got to know her. Because of her influence, I am a regular participant in Melissa Hayes yoga class that she took over for Carol at the AAC. She reminds me a lot of Carol, very spiritual and uplifting. God Bless Carol Sylvester and her family!

In His Name,

Margaret

Serving Others Even While on Vacation

One of my favorite memories of Carol comes from one of our beach trips.  We would often take our families to Florida and share a house on the beach.  This particular day my husband, Stuart, and I were sitting on the beach soaking up the sun and being very lazy.  We turned around just in time to see Carol stepping out of our house followed by a flock of our kids.  Smiles on their faces and food in their hands, they proceeded to hurry down the beach.  We found out that they had come across a homeless man down the beach so Carol escorted our children back to the house to make this man lunch, and then deliver the food.  It was affirmation to me that Carol was an extraordinarily special and giving human being.  And, she was a perfect role model for all of our children.  She believed in serving others and never stopped, even while on vacation.  There were many lives whom she touched, some we know about and probably as many that we never even knew about.

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Written by Teresa Swinehart

Words from Christy Mosher

While I never had the opportunity to know Carol in person, I know her in spirit, for she lives on in the life of her family. It has been a privilege to get to know her sweet daughter, Audrey, through my husband's seventh-grade 2013-2014 class. Carol must have lived out her faith in word and deed (as so many have testified that she did!), for Audrey has handled this most difficult turn in her life's journey with grace. The beauty of the truth of the gospel is that Carol is not dead, but alive, and one day I will know her personally as we worship Jesus together in heaven. I look forward to meeting this amazing woman, for she has brought glory to God in both life and death. Until then, I continue to lift up in prayer the sweet Sylvester family. May the peace that surpasses all understanding guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. He loves you, and so do the Moshers!

Sincerely,

Christy Mosher

Simple Memories from Angie

My memory of Carol is small and simple but in it's simplicity, I think it reflects qualities that made Carol so dear to so many.

Carol (and Stuart) were our carpool buddies in our early years at Perimeter School.  We both lived in Peachtree Station and had kids that were similar ages attending the school.  The memory that stands out most for me was her preparing and delivering a meal only a few days after I had come home with our fourth child.  Carol had not long since given birth to Audrey, but there she was making us a meal!  She included a sweet card that congratulated us on the new baby, but also said something like, "Please don't worry about writing a thank-you note for the meal.  Save that time and enjoy your new baby!"  She meant it of course.  

We resumed carpooling several years later as we were living again (almost) in the same neighborhood.  It was very common for her to text me and say "Hey, can I pick up Griffin for you and save you a trip to the school?"  She was so dear, so very thoughtful and kind and so full of love.  

Angie Presley 

Carol: The Pilates Instructor

I was one of those disciples of Carol for the Saturday morning Pilates class.   Having suffered for years with back problems, I went to the class at the strong suggestion of a friend and my back problems were gone almost overnight.   For many years I would recommend anyone with back issues to attend that class.   Many did attend and were so grateful to me but it was all Carol.   She had a way of teaching the class that reached out to everyone.   It is so funny that today I’m writing this note because I have not gone to the class since Carol left us.   Last week, something kept telling me to return to the class which I did last Saturday and it was so good to see all the familiar faces.   Then, up pops this reminder on my PC to send this note today. 

Carol, we miss you and think of you often.  You really changed many of us and we were blessed that our paths crossed.

God bless you and your family.

Bernie May

Memories from the Budd Family

For fifteen years I was a missionary who would come to the US every now and then, and when in Atlanta, the Sylvester home was often a home base.  Not only is Stuart my very good friend, but getting to use his home as a base for a week or two at a time gave me a good chance to get to see a family in action, something I didn't see often as a single guy.  One of my main living examples of marriage and parenting came from Stuart and Carol.

Nine years into my missionary service, I found my wife-to-be, and Carol, with 4 kids, all of them rather young - was gracious to allow Stuart to travel half way around the world for a few days to be the best man at our wedding.  Not too many wives in her situation are so willing to let their husband leave home - for a fun reason.  Obviously, Carol valued her husband's friendships and gave him space to be a supportive friend.  I didn't fully realize the sacrifice at the time, but 3 kids of my own later - I certainly see the extra load she took on to make that possible.

Future visits to the Sylvester home from overseas was with my young bride, and then with two young children.  Allowing a family of 4 (with toddlers) to come stay with a family of 6 (with busy school aged children), and be such an awesome hostess could not have been easy - but we were never made to feel like we were a burden or in the way.  Carol gave us just the right amount of care and support to our mostly trivial needs, but gave us freedom to come and go and figure out things on our own as well.  We always felt so at home in her home.  We would feel refreshed by our time in the Sylvester home:  Carol spent time visiting with us, sharing life stories with her signature laugh, and spoke wisely about the real stuff that life is made of.  For a young couple with a young family, the Sylvester home became even more a living classroom about marriage and parenting. 

A joke in our home is how Carol gave a young married couple the task of learning how to change a diaper on one of their young children - and how complicated it seemed at the time.      

While it's usually easy to find things one doesn't like about any given person...finding something negative about Carol was impossible.  Carol was one of the most balanced, normal, yet real people we've ever met.  It's not because she had everything perfect - but she found a way to make life work with the right attitude, and she lived it well.

Her exit from this world to the next is this world's loss.  Our lives were better from time to time because of this gracious sister who gave us shelter and refreshment in our travels, and became a true friend.  

Brent and Alina Budd and kids:  Ilusha, Eadie, and Ian

Peachtree For Carol

On the morning of the 4th of July, April and Katherine Reece ran the Annual Peachtree Road Race in Carol's honor. Carol would run this almost every year with her good friends.
Cindy Gaskins, who was planning on running it, was a champ and cheered the runners on from the sideline while on crutches from a torn hamstring. Thanks for the support!

Camping

As we are nearing the time of our annual Lake Hartwell family camping trip, I think that I will write about a memory of Carol camping.  As some may know, Carol was not in love with camping nor of sleeping in a tent.  She was a trooper though, and came each year to our huge group camping trip where many of the Clarkston High alumni would bring their families.  Last year, we were set up in our usual spot next to Stuart and Carols tent.  We, however, were in our air conditioned camper.  Evening came and we tied our dog to a long leash and left her outside as Mike does not like dogs in the camper.  We slept soundly in our nice cool camper. However, I kept hearing our dog fussing and howling.  I kept fussing back at her through the window and finally after many hours, got up to check on her.  Turns out she had wrapped herself around a tree and was barely able to move.  I felt terrible for our dog but worse for Carol because I was afraid that she had not slept in the tent right next to our dog.  If you knew Carol, sleep was an important part of her daily routine and she would not be happy if Sable had kept her awake.  Well it was pretty obvious when Carol crawled out of the tent that sleep had not been her friend.  That morning many of the campers were asking whose dog was howling all night and most were placing the blame on "Tina's dog".  We happily went along with this as we did not want to admit that we had kept Carol awake all night.  I love our annual trip, and loved being able to catch up with Carol as we didn't get to see each other as often as we had when our kids were all younger.  She will be missed this year by all of us at Lake Hartwell.

 

Teresa Swinehart

24 years ago...

Today is the 24th anniversary of my marriage to Carol.  This really was a great time in my life.  My dating relationship with Carol was a whirlwind.  As soon as I went out with Carol, I had made up my mind up that I was marrying her.  I proposed in 4 months and we were married 6 months later. (Carol HAD to have 6 months to plan the wedding!)  I would not recommend this for other people, but I think it worked out pretty well for us.

Last week, I saw a post a friend made about finding your soul mate.  The general gist is that your spouse is not your soul mate, only God can fulfill that role.  (If you feel so compelled click here for the article).  Although, I agree with this article, I think Carol was probably as close as it comes.  The writer says, "But if I hadn't met <my spouse>, I think my life would still be pretty good."  That certainly doesn't ring true for me.  I mean, would I even had a relationship with Christ if I hadn't met Carol?  I have so much to thank this woman for, probably no exaggeration to say everything.

This time of year, Facebook is full of wedding shots as people celebrate their June weddings.  So, to keep up with everyone, here is ours 24 years ago today:

That was a great day, probably the best in my life.  But, I sure am happier looking at pictures from the next day.  This is a shot I took when we first arrived at the hotel in Barbados.  Doesn't that smile make you happy? or, is it just me?

BME (Best Mom Ever)

I recall one day, many years ago, in the YMCA's locker room talking with Carol about her lovely children.  I asked what she had planned for the afternoon and she said she needed to get home before her daughter got home from school.  That her daughter was having a difficult time adjusting to high school and needed someone to listen and guide her through the first difficult year as a freshman.  

I thought to myself, what a wonderful, loving, caring Mom she is and how lucky her daughter was to have such a Mom.

Linda Schultz

Body Pump Smiles

By: Sheri Moody

Thinking today of Carol and her great big smile.  Just this week I was in body pump and a song came on that reminded us all of Carol.  We smiled at each other and remembered how wonderful she was and what an amazing instructor she was.  No one will ever be able to replace her in our class or in our hearts.  Miss her dearly.

Have a great day!

Living Memory

I was also an instructor at the Y. Carol was one of the first people I met when I came on board. Over the years that I knew her, she amazed me with her positive attitude. Even when there were challenges at the Y, she took it in stride. It was so obvious now that when the focus of your life is God, everything else is trivial. She is a living memory and role model for how we should live our lives.

Karen Allen, CEMP

Good Times

By: Laurie Cagle
I was fortunate to grow up with Carol in junior high and high school and my memories with her are many and precious to me - she was a large part of what I consider to be some of the best years of my life.  At a time when you’re just figuring out what life is all about, it makes a huge difference who you’re surrounded by and I was blessed to have Carol’s friendship.  In fact, there was a group of about eight of us who spent the better part of those years growing up together and we all have some incredible memories of which Carol was a huge part.  Whether it was football games, proms, lead outs, Rebel Girls (school hostesses J), beach trips, lake trips, ski trips, youth retreats, classes, swimming at Wald Park or whatever, we were all doing it together.  Of all of those great times together, however, one of the fondest to me is the Bible Study we were in throughout the majority of our time in high school.  On Thursday afternoons, our group would often meet at Carol’s house after school and Trudy, our Young Life leader, would lead us through a lesson and we’d pray together.  It was such a blessing and little did I know at the time how foundational those times would be for life.

Though we lost touch after going to college, I was blessed to see her just last August at our 30 year high school reunion.  Amazingly, most everyone from our group was able to make it.  I remember Carol was the first one I saw when I walked into the restaurant and she hadn’t changed a bit.  She was grinning from ear to ear and laughing that unforgettable laugh - I can still hear her now!  We had a wonderful visit.  After so many years, it was like we picked up right where we left off, the connection as familiar and easy and warm as ever.  I felt like we were sitting in her living room for Bible study all over again.  She was strong, her faith was strong and I was stronger for having been with her.  When the reunion was over later that night and I was driving home, I remember feeling so full and so thankful for the time we were able to spend together - that all of us were able to spend together – and so, so thankful for the rich blessing of her friendship.

“We always give thanks to God for you…as is only fitting, because your faith is greatly enlarged, and the love of each one of you toward one another grows ever greater.”

2 Thess. 1:3

By: Carrie Peterson
Thinking of Carol's smile, spark and laugh knowing it continues in my heart as well as that of many others. 

Cheerleader Mom

By: April Sylvester
Mom was my biggest cheerleader...literally.
In seventh grade, I did the 200m hurdles. I will always remember one particular race. As I rounded the last curve of the track, I heard an unmistakable voice above the rumble of the crowd: "GOOOOO APRIL!!!!!!" Indeed, it was my own mother. She had cupped her hands around her mouth, taken in a deep breath, and exhaled from the bottom of her diaphragm to produce an amazingly loud sound from such a small woman. Later, mom would say that I gave her a look of utter mortification mid-stride and raced away as fast as I could. (What do you expect from a middleschooler?)
But that is exactly what mom was like--the most supportive presence in my life. Without her, I would not have gone to Tanzania or Zambia, I would not have swam swim team or played volleyball, I would not have brought friends home over breaks, I would not have survived my battle with allergies, and I would not be at Wheaton, much less graduating with a BA in Anthropology.
I would not be where I am today without my all-the-way-in, slightly-embarrassing, always-loving mom.

Live Blessed: Thoughts from Penny Anne Machemehl

C – caring and connected - you felt that almost immediately 

         when you met Carol

A – adoring, always smiling - Joy radiated from Carol in an 

         unusual way

R – regal and real – Carol lived her life with magnificence 

         and splendor like royalty yet she was so approachable 

         and relatable.

O – outstanding - standing out among others of her kind

L – leader - Carol was not content to lag behind, she boldly 

        lead with her convictions in plain site.

 

My friendship with Carol was much too short but oh how blessed I feel to have known her briefly. I am inspired to try to exude a small bit of the qualities mentioned.

 

She will not be forgotten.

 

Live Blessed – Carol did,

Penny Anne Machemehl